Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
