She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
