OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I cannot find my penis.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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