Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
