The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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