The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize