Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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