I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Randomize
