Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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