hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
