In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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