we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We left an ass print on the piano.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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