Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
