If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
