your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
