At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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