"it" just moved
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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