Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
ttyl tear gas
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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