"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
No subtext here. People are naked.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Randomize
