How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
