Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
