eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
