capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize