Well douche your snatch and let's go!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
