Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
