don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
