It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
