im drinking this country out of the recession.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
