i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The power of my boobs compel you
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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