Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
