Got a toothbrush?
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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