I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
