Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Dick very happy bro
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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