I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
