DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
