I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
