Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
