You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
