Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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