There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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