Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
