Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
