There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
