just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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