Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
