This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
