Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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