just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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