i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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