my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize