At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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