if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
MIDGETS
????
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
