I hate your face
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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