I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
