I wanna passion pit in your ass
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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