just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
