Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
