I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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