Where did you get a picture of my penis
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
