Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry amacphail hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(757): View more from Virginia

now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined

Fav 12 4333 2107
share tweet
(904): View more from Florida

the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants

Fav 7 6229 968
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(912): View more from Georgia

She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.

Fav 15 1286 4571
share tweet
(732): View more from New Jersey

there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.

Fav 49 8103 2557
share tweet
(917): View more from New York City

I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay

Fav 12 4433 1485
share tweet
(602): View more from Arizona

Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?

Fav 5 3638 1521
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(419): View more from Ohio

Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.

Fav 3 2938 1238
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(602): View more from Arizona

Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?

Fav 3 479 732
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(917): View more from New York City

i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.

Fav 0 57 13
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT