wanna go halves on a baby?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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