Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
