Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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