everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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