Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
